caitlin blogging at elowel.org
friends schmriends. 06-22-06 22:51
drifting from friends is SO WEIRD. don't you think? but this time i feel like i was totally just dropped on the side of the road-- because i don't fit in with their new group or because they finally realized how boring i am, most likely. usually the drifting feels mutual and gradual, though. this kind of "drifting" is akin to a slap in the face.

but then again, i've been slowly realizing that they're the Small Talk type of friends if you know what i mean, and once i get over the fact that i have a lot less to do with my free time now that they've dumped me, i'll be glad i'm done. hopefully.
there's this thing where after i graduate from a school it, well, ceases to exist. my sixth grade class was the last to attend north oak grove; the next year, oak grove elementary took over our location and name. my eigth grade class was the last to attend milwaukie middle school; soon after, it was bought out and fixed up as waldorf private school.

you know what this means?

. . . rex putnam is history.

it's time to assemble the destruction squad.
just clap your hands. 12-29-05 01:34
sometimes i think people just try to make life complicated, myself included. we like to feel distressed, we like to get upset and depressed because then we affect those around us. because when we affect someone by being depressed, they usually respond by showering us with care and concern-- and attention. i know i get the most distressed when i'm around people i care (too much) about. that is definitely NOT the right way to evoke feeling from anyone, though.

if i don't dwell on past memories, i would say i am a pretty calm, chill person. because when i am just by myself, i am happy just being. right now i am listening to beck and drinking some milk and i feel great. because i got two turntables and a microphone.
monosyllabic moods swings 12-13-05 22:28
UGH.


is all i have to say.


soon that will turn to, yay. i hope.
from dusk till dawn. 10-29-05 23:08
what are good things to do on halloween? i want to do something fun. i want to go to a real haunted house. i want to go to a corn maze. i want to have a scary movie marathon. but i will probably end up passing out candy to trick-or-treaters. that'd be all right though, i've never actually done that before.

btw party city has forever ruined halloween, am i right co-workers?
e-addict. 10-01-05 21:57
i need a hobby. seriously. someone teach me how to knit or something. if only "surfing the web" was a very impressive, respectable thing to do with your spare time.

what do you do with your spare time?
School supply list. 09-06-05 16:15
- composition notebooks
- notebook paper
- multicolored sharpies
- ticonderoga pencils
- small sharpener
- binder + dividers/folders
- post-it notes
- notepads for journalism

WHAT. WHAT. I must need more than that. Most of those are not even necessary, I'm just crazy! AAAAAH SCHOOL AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH.
Analyze THIS/THAT. 09-01-05 21:14
Well I have realized that I am a big over-analyzer. Okay, I really did realize this a while ago. In fact, I have even regretted it before this. So I'm making it sound like a new discovery when it isn't. But it is a pretty dismal affirmation. I have given variations of the classic advice "chill out" to two people tonight (one much more bitterly than the other) but I need to work on doing that myself. Pondering and planning and obsessing and analyzing is NO GOOD. Not when you're dealing with people and emotions and dumb shit like that.
here is my schedule oh yay how exciting:

ONE DAYS NOT A DAYS:
1- french 5/6
2- newspaper
3- journalism
4- political issues

TWO DAYS NOT B DAYS:
1- orchestra
2- senior seminar
3- discrete math
4- college writing

i don't like that they changed the system. why did A days need to be re-christened to 'one days' and, in following, B days to 'two days'? and i have a new counselor, some broad named ashley goodman. and they signed me up for intro journalism.... i'm not sure if i want to take that. i know haker and erin and i theorized that it would be helpful for us editor-in-chiefs to interact with the intro kids but ugh, can't i just have a free period instead, and check in on the class at my leisure?

speaking of free periods, there are none to be seen! eeeeeeegh. i need at least one, come on. why am i taking so many stupid classes? who needs orchestra, or french, or math? school is so obnoxious.

tell me if we have classes together or something.

cross-posted on livejournal.
The Friend Dilemma. 08-17-05 10:49
So I just feel like posting. Life is going pretty well. I have been hanging out with the same two people for most of the past oh I don't know, while. It is in general very, very fun. I don't know if they feel the same way, but there's no use worrying over that, right? I am hoping I'm not just going through another friendphase; I have done that so much this year and it is no good. I become friends with a certain "group" or a couple of people and it goes fast and wonderful but then it just stops, and I only see them sporadically post-stopping point until it peters out to slim to no contact whatsoever.

I think it must be unhealthy to do that. It's a "fun while it lasts" kind of thing but sometimes, I will fully regret that I was not able to hang on or improve the friendship because these were/are people that I still care for. And then, since it's happened so often, I begin to worry it will happen with any friends I become close to (except for Rachael, she is my constant). What a stupid thing to worry about in the midst of a friendship. I am so sillyyyyy.

In other news, I got hired at Party City. Finally, a job.
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